i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
