Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
