Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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