Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
