what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
