Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
