i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
