We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
