Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
