It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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