He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
pray to the hookup gods
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
