This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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