First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
