They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
