talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
