Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It's shark week go big or go home
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
