We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
