Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
