And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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