what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
