So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
