you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
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