its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
