what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
