did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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