do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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