I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
