DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
