Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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