This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
