great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
