im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
