I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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