I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
