This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
