doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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