I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
