I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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