went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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