Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
