Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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