I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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