I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
