Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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