im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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