Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
