I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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