and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
