HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
