i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
